I wish I had a gaggle of girlfriends, truly I do. Even one would be nice. Then I look at people like Blake Lively and Meghan Markle in the news and I am reminded of why I find women quite so scary.
Everything was better in my day. I used to roll my eyes when I heard grown-ups say that. Now that I am among them, at nearly 40, I'm inclined to agree.
I rather wish William would be brave enough to go further and confess that he, like myself and millions of other Britons today, enjoys traditions but doesn't fully believe.
Ghastly. Awkward. Inconvenient. That's how I'd find the experience of being hit on at the gym.
And yet, it's apparently where everyone is getting their fun these days.
I've got a message for all the tax-avoiding British expats fleeing the Middle East at the moment and making a fuss about it: put down your phones and step away from social media.
Look who's back! It's Duchess Meghan and her loyal sidekick Harry in Jordan, slinking back into the spotlight in saintly ivory ensembles to cosplay as working royals again.
I am a woman, and of relatively sound mind, and I can tell you that there are certain articles of clothing men wear on holiday that are a resounding turn-off.
If you settle down to watch Netflix's newly released festive edition of With Love, Meghan: Holiday Celebration, with any expectation of fun, may I suggest you turn it into a drinking game?
Having previously written a book about the health benefits of walking, it struck me that where I walked might also affect me, subtly influencing my thoughts and mood.